Things I’m Loving Right Now

I love things, there’s no lie in that, and over the last couple of months I have found a lot of things that I am loving at the moment. It’s been a crazy couple of months working out what was great and what was so-so. A lot of money was spent in the process and a lot of products I need to use to not be wasteful.

So in no particular order, the cream of the crop:

Hair:

I went through a big-ish hair change at the end of July – at least for a normal person’s standards, I’ve done a lot more damage to my hair in one sitting. I cut a fringe, got some baby-lights and a golden honey balayage thanks to the lovely ladies at A Loft Story and it has changed my life for the better. Never underestimate the power and the confidence something simple like changing your hairstyle can do for you.

But blonde/treated hair is a PAIN to take care of, and while I haven’t found a toner or hair mask that I am loving yet, I have found some other hair products that makes my hair soft and clean enough for society’s standards.

For shampoo and conditioner, I am absolutely loving the L’Oreal Paris’ Botanicals Range. My Favourite is the Camelina Smooth Ritual. While a little more on the pricey for my usual tastes, it goes on sale enough at Priceline to justify it.

For styling, you cannot go past Bumble and bumble. The Prêt-à-Powder keeps my fringe bouncy and slick free and the Hairdresser’s Invisible Oil keeps my ends very soft.

Makeup:

I love a good eyeshadow pallet. I love having all that buttery, creaminess right in front of me to play and muck around with (I could be talking about cake right now). The Urban Decay Born to Run Pallet (a wonderful bday gift from one of my dearest friends) has been the one eyeshadow pallet to get me out of my rut and back into doing eyeshadow and having fun with all my looks.

I was sceptical at first of the NARS Natural Radiant Longwear Foundation. It looked to good to be true when I first tried it. It wasn’t until a switched back to another foundation that I realised how much I loved the NARS foundation. It doesn’t look like I’ve caked my skin in mud and it looks natural. Now I’m an oily gal, so at some point I need to powder down, but I accept this because my skin just looks so good.

Clothes

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This will be one of the very few times I mention anything about clothing. I have childhood memories of being dragged around shopping centres that have scarred me for life so it is not an event I like to revisit in my adult life. But my god, I am so glad I rocked up to Cotton On Body because this sports bra (pictured) and the matching pair of tights I bought have been one of the best things I have ever purchased. I need a high waisted pair of tights to keep everything in while I run around and workout and not slip below my belly. These tights are a godsend and they keep everything in where I need it to. And the bra? I actually don’t need to wear another sports bra underneath, which is an added bonus to sing home about.

What were your favourites of the month? Comment below and let me know, especially if you’ve got any great recommendations.

None of the links above are affiliated. I just feel like you should have a look yourself and look at all the good stuff 🙂

Self Love

The last 3 months have been a downward spiral of anxiety, depression and just downright gloominess. The last two weeks I plummeted to rock bottom, and I thought I had hit rock bottom when I was teenager. I was so very wrong.

Not a lot of people know the signs when I start to unravel. I learnt really quickly how to hide when I was loosing control and not bother anyone. It usually will present in anger and indifference, especially when I’m at home, but work and friends don’t see that side, or at least it’s not commented on.

I’m trying to learn when the early signs start. Trying to learn my head better. It usually starts small, I lose interest in the things I love, like makeup and simple things like reading a book. My self care routine goes straight out the window. I am someone who religiously moisturises and exfoliated, I do hair and face masks regularly and I generally just take of myself that way. The anger bubbles and consumes me and then it’s heaving sobs late at night as the darkness and loneliness takes over.

When I was teenager, I thought things would get better in my twenties, so I stopped taking care of myself mentally. As a teenager it seemed like it was easier to get help, there was school, helplines and free services you easily had access too. I feel ashamed now that I didn’t keep up with any of this by the time I started uni.

Getting back on track is a long and arduous task. Building the trust with those closest around me is the hardest thing. It’s one thing to constantly tell people you’re fine, it another to open up and finally say you’re having anxiety attacks on the regular and struggling with day-to-day life. It’s a journey of two steps forwards, four steps back until things reach equilibrium again.

📸: @simonvelladesign

If you or anyone else needs help, here are some people that can help:

My Body Exists

Exercise.

That single word alone is enough to send me to the opposite side of the room, arms crossed and hip jutted out in utter discomfort. I am not sporty, I never have been really. While I played netball and Oz-Tag, I always enjoyed the comfort of my books and music to help me escape. I don’t like being exposed or in a position where I’m going to be made to look like a fool or incapable of doing the most simple of movements.

When I finally got to uni, I had a few attempts at having a go at a gym or trying to train myself to run. I never lasted long, mostly because I never was motivated. I had a weight goal in mind, but sometimes it just wasn’t enough to keep going, other times I had success, but at a cost. My obsession with how I looked would often take over and I would obsess about how much and what I ate and more often than not I would self-sabotage.

I have no pride in my ability to self-sabotage, it has ruined a lot of progress I have made and has put me in some very dark holes. I often get frustrated and angry when I don’t see results quick enough. I struggle to keep exercising when my body is hurting and there is chocolate bar or large packet of chips waiting for me.

Sometimes I just give up altogether.

I would blame the media, I would blame everyone else around me, the world was just not built to accommodate me or my size. But the fact of the matter is, I need to blame myself. I over-eat, I stress out and I prefer to sleep and watch You-Tube than getting my arse out of bed to get my heart rate pumping.

While I am a size 14 (average for Australia) I know I carry my weight in areas where it puts me at a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes and a whole host of other problems. So, in June this year I gave myself a start over. June was my New Year that I was going to stick with. I already participated in the fitness classes offered at my work, but I knew I could do better. I am always up for a challenge.

Enter from stage left, the F45 8-week challenge. How I roped myself into this one, I still don’t know. How I even find the motivation to wake up early and train 4 to 5 times a week is a mystery to me. My muscles ache and I am dead by the time evening rolls around.

But there is progress.

I will never be chocolate box perfect and I will always struggle with sugar cravings but I am putting in the effort to try and be a better version of me that I can. 1% of progress is still progress. I know my numbers, I know my goals and at the end of the day I am so much happier when I have that endorphin rush in the morning when I climb up those stairs a little less puffed out. What’s even better this new period of exercise has taught me, is that I can’t do it by myself. I need a team of people around me to keep me motivated.

That’s my power this time round. I still love my books and I still love my music, but now I can enjoy them that little more better because I went for that early morning session and I have a body that can move. I have a body that can lift weight and do squats. I have a body that keeps me alive and able to do the things I love. I’m starting to see the physical value in body and not just the appearance. I’m getting into that mindset where can I look in the mirror and accept me for me.

One day I will run that marathon and I will be able to look in the mirror and realise how lucky I am to have a healthy body. While I’m not 100% there yet, one day I will be.

With all my love,

Bloom and Find

Photo credit: Simon Vella Design

To be healthy or not to be

I have never had a good relationship with food or my body. From the age of 9 I was hyper aware I was a lot more bigger than the other kids in my class and it destroyed me. I remember being in fourth or fifth grade and making a pact with my friend that we were going to loose weight. I have the most distinct memory of calling her up, discussing how much we each weighed and how we were going to be strong and not eat anymore junk food.

I’m pretty sure I only lasted a couple of days.

Fast forward to my early twenties and not much has changed. I still don’t like looking in the mirror and food is as much as comfort as it is my weakness. Being diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and never being 100% okay with myself, its a recipe for disaster. Clothes to going out to being in a room full of people that I don’t know induce high stress levels and have led once or twice to anxiety attacks.

This June I made a promise myself. I am going to take care of myself and I am going to put into effort into looking into my relationship with food and really look into getting myself as healthy possible. I don’t ever expect myself to be #instagoals or the become the most extreme athlete, but I do expect that I will become that little bit closer to the best version of me I can possibly be. Only time will tell.

The process and journey is going to have to be split into 3 distinct phases: exercise, food and mental health. All three of these things are so intertwined in my relationship to food and exercise and my perception of self that there will probably be a few breakdowns on the way. Things just don’t happen easily for me.

Come back on Wednesday and find out how the first stages of exercise and food went and don’t forget to subscribe with your email so the latest updates come straight to you.

With lots of love,

Bloom and Find.

Instagram

Twitter: @bloomandfind

Photo credit: @claire_adventures

Queen of Procrastination

I need a kingdom, a big one. A kingdom where I can be left to my own devices and not worry about a god-damn thing, where uni doesn’t matter and I don’t have a billion things due. K, thanks.

I have never been good at managing my time, if it’s not cramming for a mid-semester or pulling an all nighter to get an essay on the benefits of the green economy done then I’m wasting my time on YouTube looking up makeup tutorials. Even right now I am procrastinating on writing an opinion piece for my course and catching up on all my readings and instead I’m writing a blog post about procrastinating while procrastinating. It’s an endless cycle that we all suffer.

Do I have a magical solution to escape the cycle? Hell no, so sorry to you youngin’s out there looking for some awesome advice, but I haven’t got any. What I do have are some little tricks that keep me focused for at least half an hour, because a lot can be done in half an hour. You won’t be able to sort your life out, but you will be 3 paragraphs closer to finishing that essay.

Tip numero uno: turn your goddam phone off. I know it’s hard; Jessica wants to show off her awesome, overpriced brunch on instagram and hot Jason want to hook-up on Tinder, but my darlings they can wait until you have at least half of the resources you need to finish off that essay.

Two: Get your snacks and water ready. I graze, all day everyday. When I’m studying I need to have a constant supply of food otherwise I am going to get distracted, go off and make lunch to never return. Having a handful of nuts and some cut up fruit beside you is a great way to graze for a good 3 hours before you really need to some sustenance

Three: Switch up your study space. I get bored really easily, if I haven’t got some entertainment going on then I am going to lose all interest in reality and be glued to my phone. So, if you hate studying at a library, pick a café and set up camp for a couple of hours with fresh coffee and a light brunch. Who knows, the busy environment around you might help get some study done. Berkelouw Books in Paddington is a great little café to study in (if you’re not tempted to buy all the books) and most universities have a café on campus you can chill at.

So there you go, these may not be fool proof tips but they do help me a little to get some things done, particularly as I’m the kind of person that can’t follow a to-do list.

And, if you’re still interested, come back on Thursday and we’ll explore my first week-ish on Tinder

Till next time my loves!

I hate dating

No really, I do. I have spent most of my life single, and whenever that small glimmer comes through, I fuck up. True story.

I could go on and on and have a little story time where I share my ups and downs, the tragedies, the triumphs and the ultimate defeats, but how about I narrow down a few key points because nobody wants second hand embarrassment on my behalf.

  • Casual never works. EVER. Don’t go there
  • Cute Brazilian boys lie when they say they’re broken up with their long-term girlfriend. Check their Facebook, trust me
  • Science boys most (not all) of the time have some strange ticks and habits
  • If the person you like sleeps in on you ALL THE TIME, ditch them, they’ll never respect you in the long run
  • Before you blame the other person, look at yourself. It’s hard and we don’t like to admit our faults but sometimes it helps (I emphasise sometimes, don’t be too harsh on yourself)

So there you go some advice, but honestly l still hate dating, so I thought, to get over what you hate, you have to experience it for yourself. Scary I know, so I will be the guinea pig so you don’t have to. From here on in Thursday’s is known was Tinder Thursday, where we’ll laugh at my journey on an admittedly scary ride through dating.

Until next time my loves!

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Death by Breakfast Chicken, My Way to Go

It is no secret that I love food, because let’s get real here and admit there is no greater satisfaction then eating an amazing meal and feeling like you’re about to burst but feeling good in the knowledge that you have probably had one of the best meals of you life

… until the next one comes around.

When I first heard about Roastville, to be honest, the idea of fried chicken for breakfast made even my somewhat unhealthy eating habits cringe a little, but who would ever pass up the opportunity to try it? You only live once and all that jazz.

First of all, I am going to be completely honest, I wasn’t exactly a massive fan of the polenta scone on the bottom, but that’s just because I don’t like scones in general. But my god. The perri-perri hollandaise had that perfect kick, and the chicken with the perfect poached egg? I’m dead, tell my parents I cheated on Lent on a Friday but it was oh so worth it. I want that on my grave stone.

The coffee was good, maybe a little on the acidity side for my tastes, but it satisfied my morning coffee crave all in all. The vibe was bangin’ and the wait staff were friendly. I highly recommend trying some of the ice teas they have on the blackboard too. Would I go again? Yes, now that I know that getting a park close is a little bit of trouble, and I would definitely bring aaaalll my friends here.

Check out Roastville here http://www.roastville.com.au

Hi!

Welcome to Bloom and Find a place where you will most certainly not find a 20-something year old that has her shit together and is fast tracked to be the next best thing. You will find a 20-something year old that is struggling to find her place, but waiting to bloom to the inner goddess she is (see what I did there ;)).

This is a space where I get to explore Sydney, eating my way through some of the better cafes and restaurants while sticking to a student’s budget, playing with ALL the makeup and guess what? You get to come with me, because this is a journey and you are on it with me. This is a place, where through all my mistakes and blunders through my 20’s you get bloom and find who you are too, this is our place, our space and our journey through life.

So come along for the ride and get ready for all the ballsy mistakes we can make together.

Jas

xx