It been 8 weeks. I’ve committed myself (kind of) to a full 2 months working on getting fit and increasing my health levels all round. I want to say it was super easy and I lost a tonne of weight, but that’s not the case. I learnt that slow and steady is the pace that works for me.
When I wrote My Body Exists, there was a part of me that didn’t quite know where my headspace would be today when I did a mini update. There will always be that little part of me that wants that hot, bikini bod, and I naively thought I would get that within 8 weeks. My body did change though, not drastically, but enough for me to feel that little more confident. While the number didn’t drop drastically (I lost only 2kg), I did prepare myself for not reaching the goals I set out for myself. A fact of life for me, is that having PCOS and being a woman, means my body just wants to hold onto extra weight around the middle. I’m not ashamed of it anymore, it just needs more time. My biology is not working against me, it just wants different things. I decreased body fat and increased my lean mass, that is what is important.
I think the most interesting new measurement was my bust size. Apparently it increased, when I know for a fact I’ve dropped at least half a cup size. I’m putting it down to the fact that my boobs are actually at chest level now that I’ve developed some muscle. Who would have thought that just bench presses and push ups would help with that goal. I guess I can put the idea of a surgical lift a few more years into the future.
The food part, I almost nailed. I fell off the bandwagon a lot. I’m not going to feel guilty for it all. I live a social life, I enjoy a glass of rosé, I love good food made with good ingredients. I still learnt how to cook better for myself and that breakfast really is the most important meal of the day, but I think I’ve had enough tofu and tempeh these past eight weeks to last me a life time, thank you very much.
The difficult part was reconciling body positivity and wanting to drop dress sizes. For a while I was listening to podcasts on body positivity and inclusivity to help me feel motivated, but it did the opposite and made me feel worse. I was made to feel guilty because I wanted to loose weight, because it didn’t fit into the ethos of Fit and Healthy at Any Size. I’m not less of an advocate for body positivity and inclusivity because I want to make better lifestyle choice for myself that will coincide with loosing weight. I know what my personal health story is, and I will not be shamed into maintaining a size that does not make feel my best and I will not be shamed for wanting to make my body stronger and test its bounds and limits. Body positivity and inclusivity should mean supporting anyone and everyone in their journey of acceptance and healthy habits regardless if it includes weight loss or not.
The challenge is over, and I signed up for a membership. I enjoy going to class, I don’t need to think, I just need to move. I go before work and it just gives that energy for the day and I sleep so much better now. F45 is a style of exercise that I can get behind because it’s made a difference for me and I learnt how to feed myself in a way that is sustainable and I can maintain. The challenge itself recognises that you cannot do it for more than 8 weeks so you can give your body a rest and the time to heal. And rest I shall, because this chick-a-dee loves a good sleep in.